Behind the Scenes- One Red Door Photography

We are back with a great behind the scenes interview with the husband and wife team of One Red Door Photography. If you've never met Dustin & Melissa, or never watched their LIVE Facebook videos, you are missing out on some fun. Together they make a friendly, fun and laid back team that is able to capture some candid, adorable and memorable moments from your wedding day.




Q: How you describe your style, your personality and/or your brand?
A: Our style is very "in the moment", while we may suggest a shooting location, we don't create fake situations. We love to photograph happy couples who get us. We are a creative husband and wife photog team and constantly learning and perfecting our craft.





Q: What are a few mistakes brides sometimes make when choosing their vendor?
A: Not doing enough research and educating themselves to learn the market and make the most appropriate decision for them and their budget.





Q: What things should a bride look for, look at, when selecting a vendor?
A: I love when a couple chooses us. It means they have done research on what is the best fit, and not only did they like our work, but they connect with us.





Q: What is the one thing a bride should save on when booking with you?
A: I love when our couples hire a great wedding team. The wedding coordination is a must, photography too. From there, they should have a priority list. Maybe they don't care what their venue looks like but they want an overflow of flowers. Or maybe they are dreaming of a videographer but the food doesn't matter. In other words, I think working together on a priority list and a budget with a break down of each percentage is most important.




Q: What is the one thing a bride should splurge on when booking with you?
A: Hair, makeup and a FAB outfit for the engagement session. Also hair & makeup for the wedding day. I also feel even if they can't afford a wedding planner to try and save some budget for a day of coordinator. A lot of what a coordinator does, falls on our shoulders the day of.





Q: If you had a client who had endless funds what unique ideas and products/services would you offer them?
A: Out of town engagement session!!! Something fantastic.


Q: What are a few things that bridal clients should review in contracts?
A: EVERYTHING. Also make sure they have one. 

Q: Who is your ideal client?
A: Our ideal client is a bride who appreciates photography but trusts us and works together for the end result. They are laid back, they love to laugh, have fun with each other and are so excited to get married. They will have either a rustic wedding or something at a unique / classic venue. Their colors will be soft with metallic accents and family heirlooms.


Thanks!

A great interview with a great pair of people. Check out their work here at One Red Door Photography.

Happy Planning!
www.alleventsplanned.com

A New Service from AEP

This weekend we had the pleasure of helping our friends at A Budding Tree with some setup for a wedding.  We loved helping and LOVE weddings but this was our first experience with a wedding WITHOUT a planner and I was in SHOCK!  
This wedding had a few issues in the very few hours I was there (all would have been solved by having a planner)

• Layout was never completed so no ideas on how room was setup or where DJ should be placed in terms of the entrance and then also with the lighting he was providing
• DJ had no playlist OR timeline
• No one was in charge of setting up menu cards or favors
• Venue said there was no cake on their sheet BUT bride had provided cake topper and cutting utensils 
• Guest book was there but there were no pens available for signing (and they were going to need to be specialty pens based on the guest book.

The venue coordinator CALLED the Bride directly with these issues. (a HUGE no-no as far as I am concerned as a planner, we NEVER bother the bride on her day) 

These issues were apparent to me in the very FEW hours that I was there setting up and this was even before the wedding started!!  Who knows how it went once the evening started.  

I left the wedding (after attempting to fix a few of these issues since I was there and able) dismayed at how someone's wedding day could end up going so terribly and wondering HOW could I help?  How can I help the bride who doesn't have the budget (or interest) in hiring a full planner for her wedding.  I have to be able to stop this from happening so that EVERY bride can have an easy time with their wedding.

I met with the Manager of AEP and we discussed what could be done to save the planner-less bride.  What was created from this meeting was our very new service!

Wedding Planning Express- $250 
This service will provide a 2- hour meeting with all of the people involved in your wedding plans (mom, bridesmaid, friends).  We will review the full details of your wedding as well as provide you with a rough timeline to determine how your day should look and a check list of items that you will want to check and review before the big day.  This service will allow for you to take all of the information and manage the details and expectations ALL without a planner.

While, my plan isn't to have a bunch of brides NOT hiring a wedding planner, I couldn't help but think there needed to be something for all of the brides who just don't have the budget for full services.  My preference is that you do have a planner to manage your day, so that family and friends aren't working but I know that some brides won't/can't or don't want to hire a planner.  

My hope is that this service will save all of those weddings (like the one I mentioned above) and all of those brides from the chaos and mess of mistakes, oversights and missing items.  

If this sounds like something you'd like, please email us today!  

www.alleventsplanned.com 

Where Are They Now? - Chris & Maria Roberts

All Events Planned had the pleasure of being with Chris and Maria Roberts on their beautiful wedding day at the Hillbrook Country Club on October 19th, 2013.  Nearly three years later we are so happy to have had the opportunity to catch up with them and see how things are going.  And, WOW - How things have changed.  Check out our interview from Chris and Maria Roberts!

Q: What was your favorite or most memorable parts about the day? 

A: As the bride, one of the most memorable parts of the day was the first look with my dad and brother. The look on their faces when they saw me in my dress was a moment I will never forget. My mom did not know we were doing a first look so when she realized why my dad and brother were crying, she started crying (and laughing) too. It was a joyful moment. 

Also, since I did not do a first look with my husband, I was sure to pay attention when he saw me coming down the aisle during our ceremony! It was the most emotional I had ever seen him. It was also the moment I finally relaxed. The wedding day is quite nerve wracking, and seeing your love at the end of the aisle makes you remember what it's all about. 

We both really loved the end of the night as well. Everyone who stayed until the end all huddled together on the dance floor singing and dancing to one last song. Jumping, laughing, dancing and being merry. It was an overwhelming feeling of happiness and relief that it all went so well!

Q: How did you feel the day after your wedding?

A: Dehydrated! Even though drinks and food were offered to me, I really didn't consume enough water on my wedding day. It happens. But I was still so happy that I just pulled myself together, ate a big meal and we got ready to head on our road trip "mini moon" to the smoky mountains :)

Q: What was your first dance song and why did you choose it?

A: "Rhythm of Love" by the Plain White T's.  This kind of became "our song" after going to see Plain White T's at a concert that turned out to be some sort of adult prom...it was bizarre since everyone was in ball gowns and suits, and we were in jeans. We just laughed and played along. One of our best dating memories.

Q: What was the most fun/most stressful part of planning then?  Looking back now, would you have the same answer?

A: The most stressful part was finding the right venue. The problem was that I doubted my initial instinct and kept looking after we found it. There were just too many choices in front of me, and I felt like I had to make a decision immediately before the dates were all booked! 

The fun part was the food tasting! We brought my parents to our reception venue and so they were able to offer input and made me feel better about food choices. It was a relaxing and delicious way to spend a day of wedding planning :) Looking back, there were high and low moments for everything, but we always went with our instincts in the end so everything worked out just perfectly. 

  

Q: Have you moved since the wedding day?

A: Three months after our wedding, I moved to Hong Kong where my husband had been working for a year! We have been here ever since.

Q: What is the most exciting thing that’s happened since you’ve gotten married?

A: Besides moving to Hong Kong, we have a fur baby now :) The cutest pug in the world. I now wish he was around for our wedding, he would have made an excellent ring bearer!

Q: Have you traveled anywhere fun as Mr. & Mrs.?

A: Living in Hong Kong makes it so easy to travel around Asia! We have been to Japan, Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar, Korea, Macau, Taiwan, as well as a few other cities in China. We also just went to Munich for Oktoberfest (with a long layover in Istanbul)! Hoping to tick a few more countries off our bucket list before we move. We definitely caught the travel bug ;)

Q: What’s the most commonly asked question friends and family ask you after being married?

A: When are you moving back to the states and having a baby? Where will you move next? Is it difficult living in Hong Kong? You know, the usual questions =P

Q: What advice do you have for newlywed couples?

A: Relax! This is the time to have fun, and just be with each other. Don't let anyone pressure you into the "norm" of a married life (house, kids, etc). You just got married. You literally have your whole lives to figure it all out. Enjoy the ride and break away from the pack. We have SO enjoyed taking the road less traveled. 

Below are some pictures mostly from Chris and Maria's travels with a family pic thrown in. They added Oliver to the family just a month after moving to Hong Kong, when he was just two months old.  Isn't he cute!? 

Thank you so much for sharing, Chris and Maria! 

We wish you the best, and cant wait to catch up with you in another three years!

Where Are They Now- Tina & Joe

Over the last 16 years, All Events Planned has helped a countless number of couples with their wedding day. We have been there from the start to finish of the planning, wedding ceremony and reception. For the wedding planner, that is where it ends, but for the bride and groom, that is just where it starts.

With this in mind, we thought it would be fun to follow up with some of our past couples and see where they are now and how life has been since we said good-bye the night of the wedding reception.

The first couple we followed up with was Joe and Tina whose wedding was in 2010 at Park Lane Villa.  They had a glamours wedding at this amazing venue with a Sinatra Duo singing during cocktail hour to a crystal coated cake.  

Q: What was the most memorable part of the ceremony?

A: The exchange of vows was the most memorable part of the ceremony for us.

Q: Before the exchange of vows, there was the planning. What was fun part of the planning?

A: Cake tasting and checking out various venues for the reception!

Q: Most stressful part of planning?

A: The stressful side of planning was definitely dealing with our families, moms, who gets involved with the wedding details and the guest list.

Q: What advice do you have for brides currently planning their weddings?

A: Be organized, you can never start too early in the planning process.

Q: While overall Tina loved everything about her wedding day, if she had to change one thing it would have been….

A: We would have had our photographer make a wedding album. I was given a CD-ROM with full rights but I never found time to get an actual album made.

The wedding and reception is over and you’re finally married! The first day of married life is magical right?

Q: How did you feel the day after your wedding?

A: We were crazy tired.

That doesn’t mean that marriage hasn’t been fun for them, because it has.

Q: What has changed since your wedding day?

A: Since our wedding, we have enjoyed traveling together to Vancouver, British Columbia, Ireland and other places. On top of that, we have recently moved and welcomed our first child into the world, Baby Joe, who is now 19 months old.

With all that has transpired over 6 years of marriage and 10 years of being together, they had this advice to share with newlywed coupes….

 “Slow down and enjoy each other before jumping on the baby train.”

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Tina and Joe! We wish you many more years of happiness!

Being there when the Bride finds "the one"

My favorite part of every wedding is the few minutes right before the bride walks down the aisle. After months of meetings, planning, decisions and chaos... the moment has arrived. We are fixing, pulling and tugging to make sure that all our brides are flawless.

On Saturday, All Events Planned spent the afternoon at All Brides Beautiful in Hudson for the Nicole Miller Trunk show. The two story bridal shop was warm and welcoming. Bobbie and her staff gave us full access to the experience of helping a bride along with her closest friends and family pick the perfect wedding dress. For some brides it took trying on 26 dresses, others only needed to try on two. Regardless of the time it took the staff remained attentive and patient. When the perfect dress was found it was time to celebrate! A round of applause, chilled glasses,crisp sparkling cider and a toast to finding "the one." 

This was such a special time for me. It brought my favorite moment full circle. So the next time I am on my knees with my hands under our brides dress trying to get the layers of tulle just right. I can think back to today truly understand the excitement of the first time she had that dress on.

-Nataya Harris

All Events Planned

www.alleventsplanned.com/

Will Unplugging Really Solve the Problem?

Search the internet for the topic "Unplugged Wedding" and you'll find TONS of articles on how offended people are by guests taking photos at their wedding or in their way while while shooting photos at a wedding.  

Article by angry photographer showcasing guests rudely standing in the way of his photos
http://www.refinery29.com/2015/11/97207/unplugged-weddings-photographer-rant 

Article by less angry photographer about the dos and don'ts of taking photos at weddings 
http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/ 

A Knot discussion on to ban or not to ban
http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/970771/cellphone-camera-ban/p1

An article on HOW to word the banning of phone photography at your wedding
http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding-templates 

(Not a single phone to be seen!)

My feelings, as a planner, is that it isn't the phone photography that is the problem, it is the rude guest that is the problem.  There are always guests at the wedding who disregard etiquette and polite conduct.  This guests is the one who will show up late for the ceremony and walk right in the front door (usually in the middle of the ceremony) anyhow or the guest who will loudly complain when the bar closes for dinner (and demand someone get them a drink).  This person is the same person who most likely ignores polite conduct in day to day life as well.

I suggest we ban rude guests from the wedding, not photography.  We can ask that guests use some basic common sense at our weddings. We ask that they please regard this as a valued and important day to the two people who are joining their lives together.  We explain that the people at the wedding are considered the most important and cared for people in the bride and grooms lives and they should conduct themselves in such a fashion.  

Other suggestions would be that they stay quiet during the ceremony, that they stay present during the couples vows and that they pay attention to the day and what the bride & groom have asked of them.  

We ask that they show up on time, maybe even a few minutes early.  We ask that they sit where they have been escorted and take the programs, bubbles or rice without complaint.  We can ask that they not argue with the bartender over what liquors are/are not available at the bar.  We can ask that they enjoy the food and their chosen entree without expecting the staff to accommodate their change in mood/mind or taste in food (which somehow only applies to that evening).  We ask that they get up and show interest for the special moments of the evening, the cake cutting, the first dance and just a few others.  We can also ask that even if they don't like the favor, they take it at the end of the night, because someone picked it out in hopes that you would appreciate the thought.  

I don't think asking the guests to be unplugged is the answer.  There are so many times that my clients have been thrilled to see all the photos that their guests have taken of their big day.  The special view that someone was able to get, the secret look that another was able to catch and the fun interactions that your guests had together are all great things you'll miss when you insist on unplugging everyone. Even I'll follow the hashtag to see what is happening at the very wedding where I'm working.  I have the chance to see what guests are doing, what they are seeing and what they are thinking.  It's fun and these are unique photos that while they will never make it to your wedding album, will be photos that you cherish having.  

I think we need to expect more from our friends and family.  We should expect polite behavior, kindness and some common sense.  I don't think that's asking too much but I do think that's asking more from people than they are normally used to giving.  I'll start a hash tag for my weddings that would be as simple as #commonsensewedding or #myguestsdon'tsuck or #stopbeingsorudeatweddings (too long maybe?) 

What do you think?  What are your stories of your guests?  Was everyone amazing?  Was everyone involved?  Share with me, and let's start a trend of awesome weddings with equally awesome guests!

Happy Planning!

Brandi Hamerstone
www.alleventsplanned.com  

Brides Magazine June/July 2015- Read with Me

Don't have the time or energy to find the content among all those ads in this June/July edition of Brides Magazine?  Well then, read along with me as I highlight the highs and lows of what they have to offer in this edition.

Well, 28 pages in through a majority of ads and a the table of contents, we come to this month's Question to the staff of Brides magazine.  This month's question:


Where's the most romantic place you've been?
(And let me just say this now, the staff at Brides magazine must be making a fortune because these are not your average locations for the average bride & groom to travel to for romance) Some of the answers from the staff were:
Como Shambhala Estate in Bali
Linda Vista in Costa Rica
Patricia, Italy
Le Sain Geran in Mauritius

I'm not kidding, their year end bonuses must be incredible to afford these trips.

PAGE 78- My favorite section is Ask Us Anything. I love wedding advice, especially reading the question and figuring out what advice I would give and then finding out what they say.  

Most Uncomfortable Question-One of my friends keeps asking me when I'm choosing my bridesmaids.  I already have...and she's not one of them, how do I break the news?

Yikes, that's a tough one and I can honestly say I was almost at a loss for advice.  Maybe avoid her forever?  I have uncomfortable situations, especially around weddings because everyone is so emotional when it comes to the decisions you have to make.  They offered some great advice to tell her ASAP and just let her know the bridal party is small and possibly offer her a role of a reader.  Still a tough situation.  

PAGE 82- Another favorite Brides Poll- This month, my favorite topic, working out/exercise.
They are saying that 4 out of 5 are working out but only 50% are dieting.  That process has to go together because all the working out in the world won't fix bad eating habits.  Trust me.  

PAGE 102- The After "AFTER" Party-
A whole article on having sex on your wedding night.  While some of you may want to shy away from this topic, it really is a valuable piece of information.  More than half of my brides end up saying they didn't have the time/energy to be intimate on their wedding night.  While we all know that the days of saving yourself until marriage are long gone (for some people) this is a really special day and the night should be just as special.  You spend that entire day with SO many other people, celebrating and talking, this night is just for the two of you to come together and enjoy each other, for the first time as husband and wife.  We won't get too much into the details of everything but you will feel like you missed out if you don't make this something of value.  Just have a little talk before about trying to leave a half hour early or start sipping water towards the end of the evening and be sure to have a late night snack before you head to your room so you aren't starving!  

PAGE 116- Haute Inspiration-
I have to say I'm more of a classics style girl so the idea of feathers, pleats and 3-D floral for my wedding gown just doesn't appeal to me.  Maybe for a styled shoot but not for my actual wedding day.  

PAGE 141- Braid Upgrade 
There is nothing more that I love for hair than a braid.  I was so excited when this style came back and LOVE seeing how much can be done with the basic braid.  Up, down and to the side, this look always comes together perfectly for most brides.  Of course, my favorite is the picture they use for the main title page of Blake Lively, stunning! 

PAGE 161- 25 Ways to Personalize Your Party
I tell ALL of my clients, if you are going to spend this kind of money on your wedding day, make it all about the two of you!  Incorporate personal touches when you can without going overboard, but remember people are there to celebrate the both of you, let them know more about how you met, why you fell in love, etc...a few of the more original ones are- 

#2- Do a LAST Dance- I've had a few clients do this, and really it is more for the two of you, a way to wrap it all up.  This may even help with the "after, after party" plans as well.  

#21- Hand Painted Shoes- I had one bride do this for her wedding day along with her dad and they both had these amazing, personalized shoes to wear.  It was something special for them and an extra touch for the select few that pay attention to details, to appreciate.  

#24- Use Personal Photos- Love having photos of the two of you growing up, dating, travelling and just being a couple.  It is so fun to see the two of you in love and again, that's why the guests are there!

Then we pass through a few articles, photos shoots, travel locations, etc...nothing that appeals to me a ton in this months edition.  

Page 264- Their section of weddings they feature that are typically not your "typical" bride and groom.  This month has a Mexican model and her husband an equity manager.  Their wedding is, of course, lovely.  They, of course, had a wedding planner, yay!  

Page 268- What's your TOP Priority
Wonderful article on prioritizing your marriage.  I'll take the highlight from the article to give you an idea on why it is so great-
"I've seen beautiful couples crash and burn because they gave something else priority over their relationship and proved it one small choice at a time" 
That's how all relationships fall apart, one small thing at a time.  Eventually all those small things add up and start eating away at all the good things you worked so hard to have.  Don't let that be you!

Page 276- You're Invited
A Capital Affair- Stunning wedding with the most amazing color palette in DC!
Urban Oasis- A wedding held in my favorite, a clear tent!
Clear Skies in Seattle- A very brave wedding held outside without a tent?!?!  

That's it for this edition of Brides magazine.  Did you read on your own?  Have different feedback?  Love different articles?  Let me know!  Read along with me next month!

Brandi Hamerstone
www.alleventsplanned.com 

Snapshot of Emily & Steve at The Silver Grille

Thrilled to feature a quick snapshot of the wonderful wedding from April 18th at The Silver Grille with Justin Ketchum Photography!

Also, this wedding was the first chance I had to hear the great Erin Rossi of The Element from Cleveland Music Group sing, live and she is incredible!  

Check out the photos through the link listed below- 
http://www.justinkphotography.com/blog/ 

Happy Planning!
www.alleventsplanned.com

A Trainer for your Wedding Day-

The #1 thing that I hear about, outside of the obvious plans for the big day, are the size and shape the bride wants to be for her big day.  
Once the dress has been ordered there is a rush to squeeze out as many pounds as possible to be the "perfect size" for the day and for the dress.  

I know that working out and dieting are big on the list but the first thing I would say is that dieting should be immediately removed.  The last thing you want to do during a stressful time in your life is eliminate foods, cut back on needed calories or shock your body by drastically changing what it is used to.  If you need to do anything, cut back on the amount of the food that you eat but don't try to do a major overhaul, at least not now.

The other thing I would recommend is to get yourself a trainer.  I know, I know you are probably thinking that the last thing you need is another expense but trust me when I tell you that this one will change your life.

I workout with a trainer two times a week and the changes I've seen have been dramatic.  I have worked out my whole life, from running, weight lifting, aerobics, yoga and beyond but once I started with a trainer I felt like I was just entering the world of fitness.  

Here are a few reasons you should consider a trainer too-
1- You have someone to track your progress.  You may not notice the changes, but your trainer will and they will be able to adjust accordingly.  They will notice the changes in body, ability and focus and it is good for someone to be able to point that out to you.

2- You have someone to push you.  The trainer will know what your body can do and can safely push you to your max.  Injury is the LAST thing you want before your wedding so having a skilled professional coaching you is worth every penny to avoid spraining or tearing anything.  They can also make sure that you don't keep lifting those 10lb weights when they know your body can handle picking up those 20lbs.  

3- You have someone to personalize.  You can hop on the elliptical every single day for the nine months before your wedding but your results won't be exactly what your body could provide.  With a trainer they are able to pinpoint weak points, strong points and adjust accordingly.  This plan will change up your body and what it is used to enough that you will notice REAL results.  

4- They hold you accountable.  This is HUGE as you are going to have 101 excuses to not workout during this time.  I'm not implying that you NEED to lose weight but what I am saying is that staying fit and healthy during this stressful time will allow you to stress less, sleep more, feel better and keep you strong and feeling good throughout. 

Don't take my word for it, plenty of trainers offer wedding packages or even first time visits for free.  Call one up and see what you think.  You may not love the first one you meet so don't get frustrated, just keep trying.  Look for friends and family that look great and are in shape, ask them what they do or who they work out with and if you are already working out at a gym, stop by the front desk and ask if they offer recommendations.  

Or you can contact my personal trainer directly and receive 10% off sessions.  Obviously, I think the world of her or else I wouldn't be able to feel this type of dedication to the concept of a trainer but you'll have to see for yourself!  
Erika Kohler at Results Personal Training 

Aron & Erika also happen to be past All Events Planned clients-

Happy Planning!
www.alleventsplanned.com 

LuLu's Sweet Secret- The secret is she's amazing!

I had the wonderful joy of experiencing a cake tasting this afternoon with fellow wedding planner, Jennifer Hartman of Heart 2 Heart Occasions.  

We were invited to experience LuLu's Sweet Secrets cakes and also to check out the amazing art work that she creates in sugar flowers.  To claim that she has "talent" is quite an understatement as we were both totally blown away when we saw the realistic looking, delicate, incredible and EDIBLE flowers she creates for cakes.  

Our tasting menu was as follows (please be advised you will want to immediately eat cake upon reading this)  Also, keep in mind that all of the items are created by hand and absolutely fresh.  

Almond Cake- Dluce de Leche French Buttercream & Almond Praline (that's REAL almonds to create the almond flavor in this cake, it was my favorite) 

Victoria Sponge- Strawberry Preserve & Strawberry Buttercream & Vanilla Bean French Buttercream

Vanilla Cake- Lemon Syrup & Blackberry White Chocolate Swiss Buttercream & Lemon Buttercream

Chocolate Cake- Dulce de Leche & Fleur De Sel & Belgian Chocolate Swiss Buttercream

Here are the cakes from the tasting- 

These cakes were SO good.  You could taste each flavor that she put together in each cake.  They were soft, moist and creative.  This isn't your everyday cake, this is a spectacular creation of flavors that together provide an outstanding experience.  If you want something a little different, something that your guests won't get everywhere else, this is your wedding cake vendor!  

Here is some of her art-

My pictures do her work no justice, head over to her blog to check it out.  Keep in mind that those flowers are all edible, that work is done individually, by hand and is a true piece of art!

Happy Planning!
www.alleventsplanned.com 

Questions That Lead to Love....?

I've seen this article passed around over the internet and then had a client send it over to me for review.  She suggested that I send it to my other bridal clients so that they could have these conversations with the person they are about to marry.  

What do you think?  Can you ask?  Do you already know?  Is anyone willing to have the conversation and let me know how it went?  Could we find two strangers and see what happens? 

Here is the actual article-
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html  

Here are the questions from the article- 

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

Continue reading the main storyContinue reading the main storyContinue reading the main story

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Happy Planning!

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